Zhaina's Xanga

I've reached my 2nd long time gw :)

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:45:20 GMT

Stepped on the scale today and new cw is 166,76 lbs (75,8 kg) lost so far: 70,84 lbs (32,2 kg)
My 2nd goalweigt was 169,4 lbs (77 kg) and now I weigh less than that :) nesxt goalweight is 147,4 lbs (67 kg) and ultimate goalweight is 125,4 lbs (57 kg).

Haven't had time to do my work out today, but I have been out walking and I have only eaten 4 finncrisps with low fat cheese. But I hate the thought that I haven't worked out,but atleast I have been out walking :)

-Zhaina-

happy new year

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:35:06 GMT

Wow it's a long time since I have blogged here!! I was admitted to a psych.ward for 2 months, I came home right before christmas.

My weight is now 170 lbs (77,3 kg) and lost so far: 67,54 lbs (30,7 kg), I gained some during christmas, but that's off now, I had a cold during christmas so I didn't get to exercise any much,I'm better from the cold now and I have worked out both yesterday and today. I got an elliptical machine (crosstrainer) for my work out room, so now I have a rowingmachine,a bike,the crosstrainer, a ministepper and som manuals. Thinking about buying a fitnessball and maybe one of those small trampolines and maybe some more manuals.

I was doing a bit better from the ED after I had been in the psych.ward (had a mealplan and people following up during the meals and afterwards) but I have relapsed back in to my old patterns again now,I ate a lot during christmas,but now I'm eating little again. Haven't thrown up so much ,but some. My weight was down i 166,32 lbs (75,6 kg) some time before christmas,but then I had a couple of weeks with binge and purge and I ate a bit more than usual,so I gained that, and I gained some more during christmas,but I have finally gotten rid of the weight I gained during christmas.

Today:

Intake:

B: -

L:-

D: 1 chicken filet w/ lettuce and some rice

Snack: 1 orange

Beverages: diet soda,water

Outtake:

1 hour on the elliptical/crosstrainer (465 cals)

-Zhaina-

Some time since I blogged here now

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 22:13:06 GMT

It's been some time since my last entry here but I have been writing in my other norwegian blog,but I'll try to come here more often again.

My cw is now 184,4 lbs (84 kg) lost so far: 52,8 lbs (24 kg)

Today I have been eating too much, thrown some up,but kept some too

It looks like I'm being admitted to a psych. ward again, my psychologist is sending the application after this weekend. I've said yes,because I understand that I need more help right now, I'll probably have days were I will regret it,but I try to think that the reasonably me knows that I need help ith my ED, and I have to get better from it before I can begin to work with my childhood traumas again. I know my psychologist wants my best,so I'm trying to follow her advices. And the first right now is going to the psych.ward.

I'll try to update again soon ;)

-Zhaina-

reached my first gw!

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:19:22 GMT

I have reached my first goalweight 191,4 lbs (87 kg) lost so far: 46,2 lbs (21 kg)

Don't have so much else to write today!!

-Zhaina-

weightloss update

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 11:55:16 GMT

Weightloss update:

CW: 195,8 lbs (89 kg) lost so far: 41,8 lbs (19 kg)

only 4,4 lbs (2 kg) until my first goalweight!!

-Zhaina-

Today

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 17:05:06 GMT

Cw: 197,56 lbs (89,8 kg) lost so far: 40,04 lbs (18,2 kg)
I'm only 6,16 lbs (2,8 kg) away from my first goal at 191,4 lbs (87 kg),my second goal is 169,4 lbs (77 kg) my third goal is 147,4 lbs (67 kg) and my ultimate goalweight is 125,4 lbs (57 kg) but I'm far from my ultimate goalweigh still, but I'm on my way

-Zhaina-

weekend again

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:23:32 GMT

Then it is weekend again! Cw: 198 lbs (90 kg) lost so far: 39,6 lbs (18 kg)

I binged and purged yesterday so today I'm a bit tired. I ate some dried fish snack after the b/p ,I had to have something in my stomach because I had to drive to the mall and sometimes I get dizzy after b/p so it was better to eat that to prevent dizzyness. But the dried fish slice was almost only proteins.
But I have been doing good because I had not b/p for 1-1,5 week, only eaten little and exercised!!

Today:

Intake:

B:nothing

L: 2 triangular slices of melon, 7-8 grapes

D: 250-300 grams lobscouse (200-250 cals)

Beverages: diet soda,black coffee,mineralwater

Outtake:

Work, 1 hour walk,shopping

-Zhaina-

Yay

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:24:16 GMT

Finally I'm under 200 lbs, new cw: 199,98 (90,9 kg) lost so far: 37,62 lbs (17,1 kg)

Intake:

B: a low fat youghurt

L: nothing

D: cod with potatomash (didn't eat so much potatomash,just a couple of bites)

Beverages: black coffee,diet soda

Outtake:

tba

-Zhaina-

doing well

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:29:54 GMT

My dieting is going well, had a couple of binge and purge episodes,but else from that I'm good at keeping the diet. cw is now 202,4 lbs (92 kgs) lost so far: 35,2 lbs (16 kgs)

Intake:

B: nothing

L: some watermelon

D: tba

Beverages: diet soda,black coffee,

Outtake:

Farmwork, tba!!

I'll try to update later today!

-Zhaina-

New cw!

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 15:43:28 GMT

I've lost some more weight yay new cw: 206,36 lbs (93,8 kg) lost so far: 31,24 lbs (14,2 kg)

last night was terrible when i comes to food, just ate a youghurt during the day,but in the evening we had dinner,BBQ I hade chicken filet w/potatoeboats,salad and tomatoes. I felt soooo bad because of the potatoeboats,so many carbs was my only thought about them. So I threw up the whole dinner and felt much better afterwards. Even thou I hate that the bulimia has begun to bother me again. I felt a bit lightheaded afterwards so I drank some mineralwater with different salts in it (such as natrium and so on)
I ate som pretzels and some dried fish snacks later. So I was so sure that my weight had gone up so I was relieved to see this morning that I had lost some instead!

I had a binge and purge episode last wednesday,I felt sooo awful,but I managed to purge it all up atleast. I had had a therapy session earlier that day and that brought up a lot of diffult feelings and stuff,so I gave in to the craving to binge and purge. Not happy about that I've struggled with bulimia for so many years but the last couple of years I haven't been struggling so much with it but I have been eating for comfort so I gained so much weight because of that. Think I have to talk to my psychologist about me beginning to purge again when she comes back from haveing vacation I'm seeing a psych.nurse that I know while she is on vacation, but I don't wanna talk to her about it.Just mye psychologist. But I don't want my diet to be ruined,so I'm not sure how to do this. Because some of me donæt want to relieve the secret of me doing some purging,because I feel I have to have the opportunity to do it if I feel I have eaten too much, and some of me knows it is not good to do and that I need help to quit. I guess I have to think about it. I have an appointment with my psychologist at wednesday morning. Looking forward to see her again,she is a wonderful person,that has become very important to me

-Zhaina-

Update

Intake:

B: slept

L: a yoghourt (118,5 cals)

D: about 200 grams of cod and some onion fried in the pan (fried in rapeseed/canola oil ) (dunno ho many cals )

Snack: some sugarfree pastilles

Beverages: black coffee,diet soda

Outtake:

not so good outtake,some walking in the city,and doing usual things here at home, might take a little walk with the dog in a little while,but it's getting dark outside,don't like walking alone in the dark

-Zhaina-